Reflections on being a TV therapist
So how did it happen?
Production approached me, we did a screen test, and that was it. It all moved quite quickly from there.
Stepping into the unknown
I had reservations, of course. I had no idea what to expect and, if I’m honest, I was worried about retaining my authenticity as a therapist. It’s one thing to sit in a consulting room with a couple. It’s another to do that with cameras present and the knowledge that it will be watched by thousands of people.
Setting the foundations
There were lots of discussions with the writer, production and the welfare team before filming began. I needed to feel confident that this wasn’t going to be therapy turned into performance. I was reassured that there was no script and that this was a genuine attempt to bring therapy to a multicultural population that didn’t necessarily believe that therapy worked, or even that it was available to them. That mattered to me.
Inside the consulting room
The prospect of being filmed was intimidating. In reality, the experience was surprisingly calm and contained. I spent around six hours with each couple, and around fifteen minutes of that ultimately appeared on screen.
The consulting room itself felt very authentic. There were cameras, but they were stationary. The crew were silent, and there were very few of them. It actually felt very close to my day job. Once we were in the room, it became about the work.
What I think surprised me most was the couples themselves. They had all agreed to talk about their issues, but I’m not sure they fully realised the effect that a consulting room and a therapist might have on them. Being in that space, with the focus entirely on their relationship, brought things to the surface very quickly. They were moved, angry, resentful, and thoughtful. And all of them got something out of the process. That was the real surprise, even for me.
Once the three of us were in the room, I really didn’t think about much else except the work. And that seemed to be true for the contributors as well. Every one of them responded to the creation of that safe space, even if they had not been ready for it. Magic happened, as it does in the room, when people start to truly listen and connect. That is always the turning point. It’s about creating the conditions where two people can hear each other differently. When that happens, something shifts.
Behind the Scenes
I also want to say that everyone involved was very well taken care of. The welfare team were present throughout, and contributors had full access to the support they provided if needed. That level of care was important, given the emotional intensity of the work.
There were many things I loved about being part of the show. The themes were universal. The issues the couples brought into the room are the same ones I see every day in my practice. Communication breakdown, trust, mismatched expectations, the tension between autonomy and connection.
I was also struck by the bravery and honesty of the couples, and their willingness to share something so personal. And it felt significant that the show was written by a Black man who wanted to bring the message to a diverse audience that relationship therapy and coaching are viable options for everyone.
My work in context
A lot of my work over the past twelve years has been with couples navigating neurodivergence and relationships. I sit at the intersection of complex relational dynamics in a hyper-connected, neurodivergent world, where autonomy is often valued over vulnerability and emotional connection. That tension comes up again and again.
My Karen Doherty Coaching (KDC) model, is based on psychoeducation, attachment, and the willingness of the couple to rekindle a connection.
A big part of the work is also about recognising processing differences and developing strategies that allow couples to build new, more constructive ways of connecting. That was present in the room, too. Working with younger couples on the show highlighted just how relevant that work is. The desire for connection is there, but the pathways to it are not always straightforward.
So what next?
My day job carries on. I continue to work with couples through coaching, webinars, group courses and vision days, supporting them to understand their dynamics and rebuild connection in a way that works for them. But I would absolutely love another opportunity to work with the Blue Therapy team. So please do tell your friends. And fingers crossed for a second series.
