Couple New Year’s Resolutions
Resolutions that actually work for 2026
New Year’s resolutions can invite skepticism, often for good reason. Year after year, we set ambitious personal goals, yet without clear steps and defined timelines, they frequently lose momentum.
My focus is on moving beyond purely individual resolutions, driven by a genuine passion for the couple relationship. Personal growth and independence are undeniably important, but they can sometimes deepen the divide I see emerging between partners in everyday life. Too often, couples become consumed by the demands of daily routines and neglect to invest intentional time in their relationship.
So, while I wholeheartedly support setting personal goals, I also urge couples to establish shared goals. Not the superficial “hashtag” kind. I’m talking about meaningful commitments that nurture closeness, create shared experiences, and build a vision for the future together. These are the kinds of goals that strengthen bonds and transform resolutions into lasting connection.
The couple as the foundation
Your relationship with your partner is the solid foundation from which you go out into the world and face the music of life. So often the couples I work with are focussing on creating the best lives possible for their children. I cannot emphasise enough that your couple is the bedrock of your family unit.
Life can take over, it happens to everyone at times. Sometimes this can result in big blow-ups in a couple, which brings them to me – but the alternative is something I see far more often, which is the quiet drift. If the couple doesn’t fight, they don’t reach a ‘crisis point’ but the couple relationship gradually gets relegated to the back burner. That drift creates more and more distance, misunderstanding and loneliness.
Taking accountability this year
The most common New Year’s Resolutions – a new hobby, a number to lose on the scale – are made and quietly forgotten over the weeks. Don’t let that happen to your couple goals. Taking accountability means making a new Couple Deal, which I talk about a lot in my work as a blueprint for relationship success.
As you start your new year, I encourage you and your partner to take accountability for growing together over the next year. I’m going to tell you how to do just that:
1.| Reflect on the past year
Think about the past year, what was good about it?
Use the these headings to help you reflect:
- Me – Personally / professionally
- You – Personally / professionally
- Us – Our couple
- Kids – their progress and triumphs
Together think about the good and give yourselves a pat on the back. So often couples only register the negative; the fights, silences, misunderstandings. Its a chance to celebrate what you got right.
Next, go through the same categories, but think about what didn’t go so well.
- Me
- You
- Us
- Kids
This is the trickier piece to address. There may be embarrassment, shame or guilt around negative things that happened last year – but remember, your partner is with you in this conversation. You’re on the same team and this will bring you closer. ‘Walking on Eggshells’ is a no-man’s land for couples, so try your best to be sincere and open up about what hasn’t gone so well rather than hiding from it, which is all too tempting to do.
2.| Define your couple goals
This is the space for your New Year’s Resolutions – ones that will stick and have room to grow beyond the year. Take the time to consider yourself individually – your habits, your routines. What are your personal goals for the year? You’ll carry that energy into your relationship.
Then consider your goals as a couple. You could be moving house, decorating, going on holiday, or you could have a special birthday or anniversary coming up. Your goal might also be to improve your health together, or improve your communication and intimacy.
Remember – you taking the time to do this work on your couple goals will be the basis for everything else flourishing over the next year.
3. Do the work
Nobody likes to hear this, but a good relationship takes work. Regular, intentional work. Accountability is key to keeping things on track. Schedule regular check-ins with each other on your progress. Carve out the time and space every month to chat through what is working, what has fallen by the wayside and what you may need help with .
It’s not a “date” (still have those), but it is in the diary every month and could even be something that you enjoy doing. It’s so important to share, laugh and cry about success and failures. It will leave your couple feeling more connected for the next few weeks and beyond.
Happy New Year, couples!
