The Festive Season: a guide for the neurodiverse
Key takeaways for navigating the festive season
- Honest communication can set clear expectations with your partner over the festive season.
- Prioritise self-care to prevent meltdowns.
- Create a detailed plan on how to manage stress and anxiety.
- Make sure your sensory aids are within easy reach.
- Remember self-compassion and avoid perfectionism.
- Be open to adapting to changing circumstances.
- Focus on meaningful connections with your family and friends.
The festive season, a time for joy and togetherness, can often be a minefield for neurodivergent individuals. What should be a season of cosy relaxation becomes a source of apprehension and tension. Sensory overload, social anxiety, and the pressure to conform to traditional expectations can make Christmas or other yuletide festivities a stressful experience. However, with a little planning and understanding, it’s possible to navigate the festive period with grace and ease.
1 | Set realistic expectations
Before the tinsel goes up, have a frank chat with your partner about your social limits. Are large family gatherings your idea of hell? Or do you crave the chaos? Whatever your preference, be upfront about your needs. A compromise, such as a quieter day after a busier one, can help alleviate stress.
2 | Recognise your limits
Understanding your own sensitivities and capacity to tolerate social situations is crucial. If you know that a packed Christmas lunch is a recipe for a meltdown, consider alternative arrangements. Perhaps a smaller, more intimate gathering or a quiet day at home would be more suitable. Sometimes this can be difficult – some people have big families, and nobody wants to feel left out. This is when compromise comes in. One busy day could be followed by a very quiet one, for example.
3 | Work as a team
Communicate openly and sensitively with your partner about your feelings towards family members. Share any concerns or anxieties you may have, and work together to develop strategies to navigate potential difficulties. A simple code word or signal can be a lifesaver in tense moments.
4 | Preparing and planning
Divide and conquer the Christmas preparations. Create a detailed plan, allocate tasks, and tackle them gradually to avoid last-minute stress. A well-organised approach can significantly reduce anxiety and overwhelm.
5 | Taking a break when needed
Remember to take regular breaks throughout the day. Step outside for a few minutes of fresh air, practice some deep breathing exercises or simply retreat to a quiet room. These short respites can help you recharge and prevent emotional burnout.
6 | Avoid unnecessary stress
Procrastinating on gift shopping can lead to increased anxiety. Tackle this task early on to avoid the rush and the associated stress. If procrastination becomes a persistent issue, consider asking for help from a trusted friend.
7 | Use sensory aids for relief
Keep your noise-cancelling headphones and other sensory aids close at hand. These tools can provide much-needed relief from overwhelming stimuli and help you stay calm and focused.
8 | Note the importance of balance and compromise
Be flexible and willing to compromise. For example, if your partner wants to attend a social event that you’d rather avoid, offer to look after the children. This give-and-take approach can help maintain harmony and understanding.
9 | Agree on a code word
Establish a code word that signals when things are getting too intense. This can be a subtle way to de-escalate a situation before it spirals out of control.
10 | Have fun!
Despite the challenges, try to find joy in the holiday season. Focus on the positive aspects of Christmas, such as spending time with loved ones, giving gifts, and indulging in festive treats.
Action items
Feel free to refer back to this list if you feel a little overwhelmed and need actionable tips:
- Create a sensory toolkit. Assemble a box of items that can soothe your senses, such as fidget toys, scented candles, or calming music.
- Set boundaries when needed. Don’t feel obligated to attend every social event. It’s okay to decline invitations if you know they will overwhelm you.
- Self-care is important over the season. Prioritise activities that help you relax and recharge, such as taking a bath, reading a book, or spending time in nature.
- Communicate your needs. It’s the season of giving, but you shouldn’t feel afraid to communicate what you need from others. Let your loved ones know how they can support you during the festive season.
- Be kind to yourself. Remember that it’s okay to not be perfect. Cut yourself some slack and focus on what matters most: your well-being.
Overall, believe in yourself and your ability to navigate the festive season with grace and ease.
