Perhaps we should stop asking whether people are masking and start asking whether the adaptation they are making is sustainable. Does that adaptation leaves you feeling connected to yourself or chronically exhausted and disconnected.
There is a difference between being desired and being chosen.
In modern relationships, a lot of people desire your presence. They enjoy the connection, the attention and the moments you share.
In long-term relationships, intimacy can very easily become something we assume will happen when the time feels right. Then life gets busy. Scheduling intimacy can help couples create that space again.
Becoming a parent is one of life’s biggest transitions. Alongside the joy, excitement and love that children bring, parenthood also changes the relationship between partners in ways that many couples don’t fully anticipate.
In my therapy room, I see many couples navigating neurodiversity. One thing is consistently true: the intentions are good. Neurodivergent partners are often working hard to understand themselves and build strategies that make life feel more manageable. Neurotypical partners are trying to accommodate, support, and create ease. Both want connection. Both want harmony.
I recently had the pleasure of joining Fred Santana, Temi Alchemy and VP on The 90s Baby Show for a wide-ranging conversation about relationships, communication and the realities of modern dating.
From the outside, it may look as though nothing significant has happened. There has been no physical affair. No dramatic confession. No obvious betrayal. Yet the injured partner often senses that something important has changed.
Many of the couples who sit in my therapy room today are navigating challenges that simply did not exist ten years ago.
Modern relationships require negotiation in ways previous generations may never have had to articulate so explicitly. Conversations around exclusivity, autonomy, emotional labour, friendship boundaries, finances, intimacy, digital behaviour and future expectations can no longer simply be presumed.
While the word ‘boundaries’ might conjure up images of restriction or coldness, healthy boundaries are actually guidelines that create a foundation for a strong and happy partnership.